


Expressing gratitude.

by Queerdinary



Series: Established Vignettes [6]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 20:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12350310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerdinary/pseuds/Queerdinary
Summary: “You are awake.”“Yes.” Kathryn's reply was listless and a little further away than Seven would have liked. This drone has known horror, terror and regret. This drone does not wish those feelings for you. She leaned down, wrapping her arms and a portion of the sheet around Kathryn, and folded her in close against her own body heat. This drone can offer comfort. Support. Security. Seven let the silence that followed extend, wrapping that too into her embrace until she felt Kathryn returning to herself from that far away place she sometimes drifted to at night. Gradually, Kathryn spoke to her.“I don't... I just-I can't...”The broken quality of her speech made Seven want to bodily destroy what ever doubt was plaguing her. While a satisfying idea, it is ultimately futile. Conversation is more productive. When Kathryn didn't continue, just buried her face into the crook of Seven's elbow, Seven spoke instead.





	Expressing gratitude.

Seven stretched sleepily and rolled over to wrap her arms around her bed mate, but Kathryn wasn't there. Her eyes fluttered open. Since she had begun experimenting with traditional mammalian regeneration, Kathryn had been there each time she'd awoken. Seven found she did not like the sensation of waking with out her there. Coming to full alertness, Seven dismissed the thought as childish, and pulled the satiny top sheet around herself as she moved from the bed to find Kathryn.  
  
She found her in the dining area, staring out the view port. Several pads were in front of her, powered down from neglect, and Seven suspect the contents of the mug at her right hand were cold. By the dim illumination, and her own internal chronometer, Seven knew it was still early in their rest cycle... _Kathryn has had nightmares again. We are both the restless kind._  
  
Seven padded to Kathryn's side and placed her hands on her shoulders. Seven liked the feeling of the terry cloth robe she'd replicated for her captain, and was gratified that the woman would wrap herself in it to seek comfort.

 

“You are awake.”  
  
“Yes.” Kathryn's reply was listless and a little further away than Seven would have liked. _This drone has known horror, terror and regret. This drone does not wish those feelings for you._ She leaned down, wrapping her arms and a portion of the sheet around Kathryn, and folded her in close against her own body heat. _This drone can offer comfort. Support. Security._ Seven let the silence that followed extend, wrapping that too into her embrace until she felt Kathryn returning to herself from that far away place she sometimes drifted to at night. Gradually, Kathryn spoke to her.  
  
“I don't... I just-I can't...”

  
The broken quality of her speech made Seven want to bodily destroy what ever doubt was plaguing her. _While a satisfying idea, it is ultimately futile. Conversation is more productive._ When Kathryn didn't continue, just buried her face into the crook of Seven's elbow, Seven spoke instead.  
  
“It is an unworthy game that 'demons' play.” She used her free hand to wipe a silent tear from the corner of Kathryn's eye, and then worked her fingers into her soft red brown hair.

“ They whisper to us when we are at our most vulnerable, that we are incapable of change.”

  
She pressed her fingers along the base of her skull, palming it and dragging the tips of her metal fingers along the points she knew from practice would provide the most relief. She was not experienced with this kind of discourse, but she had been reflecting upon it for some time. _For three hundred and twenty five days, I have watched you wrestle with enemies inside this skull of yours. I wish to preform... an 'exorcism'- I know what it is to have voices in your head, a part of you, long for your own self-destruction._

 

So she said so.

 

Kathryn sighed as she worked, and Seven continued. “It is... insidious. There is a trick though, to dealing with them... We should deal with them logically.”  
  
Katheryn burbled a watery chuckle, as Seven hoped she might, and the humor broke through enough to return her partner to her from the grip of whatever had held her. “You would think so, wouldn't you.”  


“It is why I said it.”

 

Another chuckle paved her way, and Seven continued her soothing motions along her neck and scalp.

“We should deal with them logically,” she repeated. “For example, when I do not wish to function, when I would prefer to donate my cortical node for scientific experimentation and deactivate myself, I ask Tuvok if this would be an appropriate course of action.”  
  
“Seven?” Kathryn's response was startled, and concerned, but very much in the now. Seven approved.  
  
“I ask B'ELanna if she enjoys my company, and would like to spar. I ask Thom if he would like to 'teach' me about his 'muscle cars' on the holo-deck. I ask Mr. Kim to 'explain' to me the 'feelings' in the music he plays... I ask you if you hate me for my 'other-ness', I ask you to make love to me..”  


Her head had gone back, and Seven could see her eyes intense and focused in the dim light, searching for the point she was trying to drive home. Seven would provide it.

  
“Kathryn, when our demons come to us at night like this, they do so because they think we are alone. A pack animal, isolated and alone is vulnerable and weak. There are no exceptions. Animals designed for community must have those bonds for survival- it is non negotiable. When we hunt ourselves like this, we sever ourselves from the bonds that keep us sane- we are no longer able to assess our situations logically... So ask me if what you are thinking is reasonable- I will provide a logical perspective. Tell me what is hunting you.”

 

 _While this drone cannot bodily destroy the ideas, this drone can do so with words. Ruthlessly._  
  
Kathryn was silent, absorbing what she'd said, and Seven could almost hear her mind going over the edges of her words.“ I'm not looking for compliments, Seven, I feel guilty about asking for reassur-”  


“ I assure you I am not going to flatter you. I will tell you the truth.”

 

Finally... “I'm an irresponsible captain.”

 

“False. You routinely act in a manner that demonstrates superior leadership qualities.”  


Another beat then “ I do not deserve happiness because of lives I have lost here.”  
  
“False. You, like all humans, need happiness. Especially if you are to continue to be Captain.”  
  
“I do not deserve anyone's friendship or respect, or-” Kathryn looked down at the floor and her words trailed off.

 

Seven lifted her chin back up, and smiled down at her, “People are not machines in which the expected emotions are directly reciprocated in logical format. I know this, for I have tired to make it so.” She kissed her forehead. “It does not work in this way. No one 'deserves' emotions from others, they _happen_ because that is how we have evolved to function. What we can do, is reaffirm those bonds we have, and accept them to be true.”

 

Kathryn's fingers tangled with her own and Seven allowed herself to be pulled down into her lap.

 

“When did you become so sage?” There was a wry mocking quality to her voice, and Seven exulted that for now, she had helped to slay the monsters that had kept her lover awake.

She bopped her index finger on Kathryn's nose in away she had done several times to Naiomi, and delighted at the way Kathryn's face scrunched up. _Cute_.  
  
“I have the collective experiences of over -”  
“Shut up.” Kathryn laughed, hugging her tightly hiding her face again in Seven's shoulder. “ I know, I know... Thank you for … for everything really.”

 

Seven smoothed her hands down along Kathryn's back, “And I thank you. In fact,” Seven dropped her mouth down to Kathryn's ear “I can think of several ways to thank you... and for you to express your... gratitude.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I often suffer from nightmares, and occasionally need check ins with friends to confirm that what is going on in my head (issues with self worth etc) are accurate reflections of the world I live in. Usually, I am incorrect, and need a nudge from people I care about, to be able to lay the ground work properly so I can keep on living my life.
> 
> I thought it would be interesting to explore that idea with these two( because holy emotional baggage batman!) I thought that Seven would not have the same sense of stigma around mental health (because its health care) that Kathryn might, and since I love me some sweet comfort fluff I went for it. I'll be adding a chapter two/addition so that I keep up appearances as an author of salacious works.
> 
> Thoughts?  
> ~ Q <3


End file.
